As it often does, this new year brings endless possibilities with it. Everything we wanted to do, but couldn’t, because of, you know, them, is once again at our fingertips. All we have to do is grab it. But, alas, as 2013 proved (as well as so many other years), wishing things to happen (or not happen) and actually making things happen (or preventing them from happening), are totally different beasts.
I think it starts out all wrong from the first day of the year. Who said resolutions can only be made to start the year? What about to start the day? daily resolutions seem more realistic to me because it focuses one on actual events or things that can be achieved or get done this day. People usually have a grandiose big picture of something they want or what they want their lives to be like. Attaining this life or these things are what drives people mad, regardless of Yoga, Zen Buddhism, chocolate, alcohol, cannabis, or whatever other blue pill we choose to swallow. However, I bet that if you ask any financially successful (or otherwise happy or content) person, about the secret to their success, they will probably tell you that they take care of the small, mundane, daily things, regardless of how tedious they appear to be.
Now that we are working on the small things, how about realistic, reachable goals that we can actually achieve within several weeks or months? Anything. A certification at your job, a coaching class to certify you to coach your child’s little league team, a class at your community college, making the world a better place by volunteering at the humane society, or making a pot of soup and setting up a stand and giving away heaping, steaming, healthy bowls of goodness to anyone who is hungry? You may save lives just by engaging some people in conversation and maybe giving them a ride to a shelter or hospital. What does that have to do with you and improving your life, you ask? Thanks for asking. Many (most ?) people just want to live our lives without contempt, strife or regret, yet constantly engage in self-defeating behavior. We are inherently unhappy in this world. It is obvious why and I won’t bore you with a dissertation on society’s ills. However, We are the sum part of our actions. People look at the enormity of the task and throw up their hands. We feel helpless and sometimes hopeless at the complexity of the problems. We do this when pondering the big picture (world at large) and, consequently, it seeps into our private lives. My assertion is that if we do small things daily to help ourselves and others, simple acts of kindness, we would be much more happy and satisfied with ourselves and would thus free up space in our brains and wills to start working on other goals. I could give you many examples in my personal life. This is how I know that what I am saying is true…at least for me.
One of my favorite sayings, which I quote in most of the groups I facilitate, is: “You will never get chicken noodle soup if you keep putting beef in the pot.” It is insane. Simple, but we, insanely, expect to continue to engage in the same behavior, do the same things, take the same approaches to solving our problems (often doing nothing), yet have a yearning desire or longing for “things” to be different. I blame Disney for this insanity. Well, not really, but it is a “believe in magic” mentality that keeps people stuck. There is no Prince(ss) walking through that door to rescue us from the lives we have created. The Big Bad Wolf lives within, people. We need rescuing alright, from ourselves. And guess who is the one who will have to do the rescuing? Yep, it’s you. So gear up. Make up your mind that today is the day, and start doing it. A naive young person asked a very wise old man once, “Master, what can I do to quit smoking?” He replied, “If you want to quit, then do it.” It is that simple. And what a perfect day to start: A New Year!
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